so when the assignment was to write whatever we wanted, the sentence came to mind. i finished the essay four hours before it was due and it was a terrible nightmare the entire time, but it was returned with good marks and my professor even said she was impressed!
so ladies and gents, today i present to you a seminar on how to be a bad girl.
The Girl They Write Rock Songs About
Remember to keep an ice pack on the hickey and have second thoughts about the boy that gave it to you, good lovers never leave marks; dab your lips with foundation before applying the red lipstick otherwise you’ll look like a clown before the night is over; is it true that you lost your panties?; the walk of shame is never okay, leave the party before you’re left; this is how to hold your liquor; always know where your panties are, or you will never like the way they come back to you but I never lose my underwear and I’m never ever the one left; girls like us don’t cry, we bite our lip, flip our hair, and saunter away; eat the ice cream if you want, just be sure it’s not because of a boy; it’s okay to leave questions unanswered, no one cares about a girl who gives all of her secrets away; sunbathe topless, tan lines are for the goody two-shoes; this is how to reply to the girls who call you a slut I wasn’t naked, I was wearing his shirt; use liquid eyeliner to create the cat eye so you don’t end up looking like a raccoon; this is how to smoke a cigarette to make your voice sound raspy; this is how to write a song about a man that has done you wrong; this is how to sneak out of the house while your parents are downstairs; this is how to sneak into the house before your parents notice that you’re gone; this is how to hide all evidence that you did not spend the entire night in your room; this is how to toe the line of being a tease and a slut; this is how to cure a hangover; remember that boys like the chase, once you let them catch you they won’t like you anymore; it’s the good girls who keep diaries, girls like us don’t have the time; this is how to hide your music collection from your parents; remember to save all of the desire for revenge for a song, only sluts start drama; this is how to escape the small town that suffocates you; this is how to move to the city; this is how to become the snarky waitress that the regulars love; this is the freedom you feel once you realize your life will be nothing but art and music and friends from this moment onward; this is how to get out quick when things get too serious; the staples of our closet are Levi’s, converse, and band tees; this is how to turn your apartment into a refuge for underground artists and musicians; there is nothing sexy about being a sloppy drunk or a sloppy lover; when at a concert, dance with your hips only; sluts chase the band, girls like us live with the band; if you don’t have to wrestle with your pants when you put them on, they’re not tight enough; sluts talk about other people, girls like us talk about ideas and places we’ve been; the way I see it, we want to live this way forever, and the good girls are the ones who die young; this is how to use the hairspray to give volume but not make your hair stiff; girls like us don’t call boys, nor do we have to worry about boys ever “forgetting” our number; be sure to keep the songs written about you for your grandchildren to hear and know that there is truth behind the stories; but what if no one writes a rock’n’roll song about me?; do you really mean to say that after all of this you are not going to be the kind of girl they write rock’n’roll songs about?
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