Tuesday, April 12, 2011

how drew barrymore changed my life.

consider this post a part two of sorts from the last one. 
for i have finally written an author summary!
can you believe that? i have been terrorized by writing an author summary!
because i'm an author!

but anyways, as i chatted with the editors of the literary magazines, they mentioned the idea of me writing a series. 

i thought, no way jose. i can't write  fiction. forget that. 

but then they kind of laughed, and told me that i have already started a series of sorts. 

i seriously thought they were nuts, my essays are like my dishware, nothing matches. not even a little bit. 

but then they said, "ella, dude, you write about boys."

i almost fell back in my chair. that thought was preposterous to me. there is no way in this world that i, ella greer, had enough boy experience to have already written a series on them. 

but alas, it's true. and i'm pretty sure you're nodding at the screen right now, because you know it's true as well. 

so there we go, the new york times can hire me now, i already have a column ready for them. 

but in the mean time, here is my unofficial author summary: (p.s, i had to write it in third person)

Ella Greer is majoring in English and Communications. Her interests include frozen yogurt, roller-skating, lower case letters, and dinosaurs. Her English class essay assignments have shown her that being socially inept is actually something she’s really good at. Inspiration behind Ella’s writing stems mainly from class assignments, music videos, movies such as “Whip It” and “Napoleon Dynamite,” and her high school yearbook. When Ella is not writing, she is usually eating frozen yogurt or learning the dance to “Single Ladies” by Beyonce. 

Saturday, April 9, 2011

it's saturday.

tonight, i don't have the usual format of a post, because 

(wait for it.)

some of my essays have been accepted to literary magazines! 

therefore, i spent every waking moment trying to write a summary about myself (which makes me feel weird.) you know, the summary at the end of essays that tell about the author. like they only live organic, wear rain boots without socks, have three chickens named after characters in russian literature, and get inspiration for their writing after staring into the sun for a full three minutes. yeah, that kind of summary. 

BUT. i do leave you with a list i have just recently created. it is the ultimate list. it is a list of all the things i would do if i were to find myself at home alone for the night. but in reality, i kind of do them all the time. but i am also spending the night alone. so bummer. 

things i'd like to do tonight:

drink empress of japan 
(because i'm fancy, uh)

sing. loudly. (in the shower.) 
preferably britney spears. 

paint my nails. 

write a novel about awkward one night stands, peyote, three piece suits, mangos, and a man known as pepe. 

learn how to dance like beyonce.

save the galaxy from impending doom. 

pen an indie song about sweaters, beer, and summer love (that always goes wrong). 

and then go to sleep. 
the end. 

this song is rather fitting. don'cha think?
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