breakfast club.

a few days ago, i was asked to write about a tradition that i have, but other than going to school, work, church, and the occasional frozen yogurt, my "traditions" resemble more of a to-do list and less of a story told after the holidays (i.e "my family and i always vacay at the beach house over the winter break"). but there is one "to-do" activity that i have become proud of as my life as a college kid progesses, and that is my weekly "pancake and chocolate milk breakfast." every saturday my college has a pancake bar (varieties of batter, syrup, fruit, and whatnot) and because of this, saturday brunch has become one of my favorite traditions, because that is when i enjoy the greatest breakfast ever and i get to spend a few hours reading my Bible and going through my devotional. 


i am applying to a few christian summer camps and all of the applications asked me to share my testimony, so rather than share an essay that i wrote for english class (which i usually do on this blog) i am sharing the essay that i wrote for my summer camp counselor applications. (and if anyone would like to be a reference, just let me know, lol.)

I’m not sure when I was saved, whether it was at VBS when I was seven or if it was February 3^rd when I was 18. I used to be obsessed with the answer, I desperately needed to know when it was, but I’m not so worried anymore, because I am saved and that’s all that matters.

So anyway, I am saved. For the past 10 years I have loved God, I have reserved Sundays for God, and I have joined all of the Church centered activities at church and school. 

But there’s always that feeling, I guess. Like when I realized that I wasn’t going to be the cool kid in school, when the boy broke up with me the day before Prom, when I didn’t get the part I wanted in the play, I didn’t make the soccer team, I couldn’t afford the college I wanted to go to, not everyone showed up to my party, or when my best friend turned out to be not my best friend. All of that stuff got to me, made me believe that I wasn’t special. I thought that if I couldn’t keep the attention of a bunch of 16 year-olds, how was I ever going to captivate the Creator of the Universe?

So I developed a belief that I was mediocre. That God loved me because He promised that He would love everyone, so it was kind of like when people say, “I love them because God says to love everyone, but I don’t like them.” And that was how God viewed me, He loved me because He loves everyone, but He didn’t like me.

For my devotionals, I was convicted about how I would rather read books about the Bible instead of the Bible, so I decided that my quiet time would be a book of the Bible. Because of this, I have read through the New Testament several times, but I kind of ignored the Old Testament. I felt that the Old Testament was just that, old. I perceived it as irrelevant, a list of rules that we no longer had to follow because Jesus died on the cross. But when I started college, I felt led to read the Old Testament, to see what it was really all about. It angered me, truth be told. I found myself enraged at the Israelites, God’s chosen people. They were saved after years of enslavement, they walked through the Red Sea, they defeated all of their enemies, their bread and meat fell from the sky, and their water supply came from rocks; because they were God’s chosen people and God loved them. But they didn’t care. It was as if they watched the Red Sea part, walked right on through, and watched as the Egyptians drown in the sea, and then they praised God. But then the next day they forgot about all that God had done for them and has promised to do for them, and they went off to worship the bull they made out of gold.

I couldn’t stand it. All I have been waiting for was for God to part the Red Sea for me, and He did it for His chosen people and they acted like it was a common occurrence, like they deserved it.

That was when I realized that I was the Egyptian. God created me so that His chosen people could shine. The Red Sea would have never needed to be parted if the Israelites were not being chased by the Egyptians.

I was reading the book of Jeremiah one night and I came to verse 31:3,

“And I have loved you with an everlasting love.”

And that was that. God loved me with an everlasting love. It was as if the words were on fire, in 3-D, moving across the page. That verse was for me. It canceled out the way of thinking I have lived by for the past 10 years. God loves me with an everlasting love, not because He feels obligated.

After further reading, I realized that God was speaking to the Israelites when He said that. God was telling the Israelites that He loved them with an everlasting love. God thinks of me as an Israelite, as one of His chosen people, He parted the Red Sea for me.

The Creator of the Universe loves me with an everlasting love, and that’s what’s up.  

just a song that i really like.