to build a home.

tell me again about the wedding we did not have. how i did not wear white, did not choke on tradition, did not blush.all the weddings that were not weddings,the vows that were just sneezing.the road ahead painted on a wall and howwe sped over and over again into the brick. i say “we” like you weren’t just watching me bruise.  

life update: i was fired for the first time in my life. 

it's slightly shocking, almost like the feeling you get when an officer pulls you over and hands you a nice, fat speeding ticket and then tells you to have a nice day. 

in case you were wondering how i reacted to being fired for the first time in my life, i drank a few beers and tried to watch the bachelorette. that didn't work so i drank a few more beers and tried reading the book of the moment, "this is where i leave you." that didn't work so i drank some more beers and then eventually woke up to quite the headache. 

a few calls and interviews set up later i realized i was going to be fine if not better and then reading and watching the bachelorette made sense again. 

another life update: i got stood up on a date for the first time in my life. it was so strange, almost movie montage esque. like boy meets girl, boy asks girl on date, girl smiles and waits until boy is gone to show how excited she is, girl arrives first, waiter brings water, girl checks her watch, girl drinks water, waiter walks by a few times, girl leaves to stand outside for a moment, boy never shows, girl walks to her car slightly confused and sad. girl then runs into boy at the gym, girl imagines punching him in the face but really just pretends not to see him. 

yet another life update: i'm actually pretty damn happy. i carry a book around with me wherever i go and have made a promise to try every pizza parlor and coffee shop in savannah by the time school starts. i wake up everyday at 7am to run 8 miles at lake mayor. after my run i eat a pb&j and have a chat with God while sitting barefoot on the dock. i've taken sailing lessons and spent afternoons riding a bicycle, drinking blue raspberry nerd slushies, and eating my weight in oysters. i've catnapped at the pool and spent my nights listening to 'ingrid michaelson' pandora and writing, thinking of all the loves that might have been if only i had thought of something charming to say.